I Dream In Digital

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Wrestling

I've never considered myself to be a wrestler but right now I am wrestling with something BIG. There is a point in life where you can choose to keep walking in the same direction or you can go through the turnstile and head off another way. I feel like this is one of those junctions in life for me.

There has been a lot of talk about vision, direction, calling, etc. circling my life as of late. Posts by friends on Facebook, church, I feel like it's all heading somewhere and I'm afraid I'm going to cause a big crash when it all collides at my feet. I say at my feet because my brain really can't process much more!

I'm stuck right now praying and pondering. If this is really my vison, my calling that has come to light recently, I am totally and utterly overwhelmed. There is no possible way I can do this on my own and it scares me. I'd rather just pack it away in a box and forget about it, or dumb it down to something that it isn't, just to make it more "manageable" for me to handle. Then again, it may just be a repressed fantasy or an irresponsible dream that I have just concocted out of sheer nothingness just to torture myself.

Until I have peace about this I dare not share. It will sound foolish...I can guarantee it! For now I am holding my breath, praying, and meditating on God's word.

"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:13

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

"for we walk by faith, not by sight—" 2 Corinthians 5:7

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:28-34

"for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Matthew 6:8

"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20